6 am, day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
They're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
They call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
Then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
Off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying
Driving back to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Boys, Listen Up!
Bailie had this posted in her blog and I think a lot of these are good ideas. It's no secret that guys and girls view relationships differently, and often misinterpret one another's actions and words. Well guys, here are a few things you need to do in order for your girlfriend to know you love her (or at least care about her if you're not at the 'love' stage yet). And guys, even if you're single, these will still be helpful for future relationships (TEETZ! j/k, love you).
1. Tell her she is beautiful
2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when your done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they arent.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"
9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesnt like it
13. Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then (we all know this is a challenge) TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal(she'll hug it everytime she goes to sleep), jewelry(will treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most likely where it to bed) and don't forget to bring her flowers or something special once in a while.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends (guys, this WILL NOT, i repeat WILL NOT kill you)
21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22.Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if its simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (itll make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her thinks you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute.
1. Tell her she is beautiful
2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when your done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they arent.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"
9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girlfriend.
10. Play with her hair.
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesnt like it
13. Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then (we all know this is a challenge) TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal(she'll hug it everytime she goes to sleep), jewelry(will treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most likely where it to bed) and don't forget to bring her flowers or something special once in a while.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends (guys, this WILL NOT, i repeat WILL NOT kill you)
21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22.Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if its simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (itll make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her thinks you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute.
Saturday, December 31, 2005
My Year In Review
It is New Year's Eve and for the third year in a row, it's not shaping up to be the best. I am spending it here in Minnesota with my mom and grandparents, the three most important people in the world to me, so it makes sense I would be with them. Anyway, they are talking in the dining room and initially I was just browsing online a little, checking out different school districts I might like to teach in, and of course I started reading the 'year in review' thing on MSN about different events that had happened over the last year, duh. My own past year has been pretty eventful, and not always for the best, but at least my life is interesting, which is more than I can say for some people, who give a minute by minute account of their daily crap in their blogs. I try not to do that unless it is actually worth mentioning, but some people, seriously, come on. I thought this might be fun though, a few days ago Britt and I were reminiscing about how we care too much about the future now, and gone are the days of the two college sophomores who would sit by the fountain and just talk (remind me later to tell the story about the time I pretended to be deaf), or the girls who would order pizza their last night in Selleck and sit out on the catwalk, throwing rocks at windows, basically, the girls who didn't care what anyone thought, ever. I used to be one of those girls and something happened to really change who I am. People would be surprised to find I am far different now than I used to be. But that is a story for another time and place. This is what matters right now, my 2005 Year In Review.
January
Not too shabby at all. I turned 22 and had two different events commemorating the special occasion. The first was hitting the bars with a bunch of friends, including Silas. If you recall, this was also the night Crazy Rachel freaked out and accused Silas and I of messing around. How I miss her crazy outbursts...I also had dinner with a bunch of friends the following evening, mostly those who were not yet 21. Teetz hauled ass back from his weather conference in California to make it and he got there just in time. The things that boy does for me, I am lucky I have such amazing friends - also, ones who don't resemble land masses or animals of any kind. Even though I didn't get to see him before he left for training, Adam also called to wish me a happy birthday - a tremendous feat for him, as Adam previously was unable to remember any date remotely important to me, ever.
February
A pretty low-key month, not a whole lot going on. All I really remember was being very nervous about having to sing in my music methods class, and my instructor said I could just hand in my lesson plan to her after class and then sing at that time as well. This led to her offering to give me voice lessons, and finding out I actually had a very nice voice after all. I really want to take singing lessons again, it was so much fun.
March
As always, I am pretty non-existent during this month, because it is March Madness! Duke didn't go as far as we'd thought, but it was a great season anyway. Spring Break was spent at home, and Britt and I vowed once again that the next Spring Break, we'd actually do something and go somewhere.
April
The best memory I have from April was that Jake had a party after one of the baseball games. Melissa didn't know he went to the game with Teetz and I, which made it that much better. Teetz and I were absolutely FRIED, but seeing Jesse Boyer and Alex Gordon in baseball pants was worth it - for me anyway, not so much for Teetz or Jake. At the party we played Spin The Bottle, and the first time Teetz spun and landed on me, I was in the middle of protesting how I couldn't kiss him and he just leaned over and planted one right on the lips. This was also the night I yelled at one of my former (now not so former again) friends and told him I never wanted to see him again. (Hey, I am working on the forgiveness thing, it is a slow process).
May
Well, this was supposed to be a great idea - I moved out of the dorms for the last time and into an apartment with two roommates everything was fine for the time, but we'll get to that later in the year. This is also the month I met Drake, though not til almost the very end. And 'met' is also a very loose term as well - he'd been sleeping on the futon for a good part of the month and I'd talked to him occasionally, but you know how I am with new people - and if you really want to be technical about it, he and I really truly met for the first in October of 2004, then again in March of 2005. Neither of us remember the other very clearly however, so I guess third time really was the charm. I also started working at Office Depot, which wasn't so bad to begin with.
June
Drake and I started dating in June, and Teetz and I were going to tons of baseball games. The Huskers went to the College World Series, but unfortunately did not win it all. That's okay though, because after we beat Creighton in the finals of the Super Regional, I got a picture with Jesse Boyer, a photo which was blown up to an 8X10 and is hanging in my room. Adam left for Iraq this month, which is one of the most difficult good-byes I have ever had to say, because I didn't know if it was for good, or just a little while. I hate thinking like that when I have been drinking - he called me while I was at the bars with Kayleen, Drake, Teetz, Britt, JohnRoss and random others. But it was thoughtful, and he's really seemed to have gotten this 'Call Sarah' thing down to an art, as we talked a few times, first while he was in training and then right before he left for the Middle East.
July
The greatest month of the whole year! Sort of. I MET GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!!! Teetz and I went to the concert and it was amazing. Afterward Gavin was singing autographs and I got a picture taken with him, which was also blown up to an 8X10 and is also hanging on one of my walls. I also got to meet Drake's parents for the first time when they came out to Lincoln, as well as more of his family aside from the aunts and uncles and cousins who already live in town.
August
I started my final semester as an undergrad at UNL. Student teaching was great from the start, though some of those teachers are the biggest gossips ever, it is ridiculous. Not much else that's newsworthy, just a lot of work and teaching.
September
Drake came home with me for Holden's third birthday and to meet my family. We crammed a lot into a very short amount of time, but he at least got to see my hometown and where I grew up and all that jazz. Also, lots of Husker football. I didn't get tickets because I figured I would be working every Saturday, but by this time I hated Office Depot so much, I had to take Saturdays off just to give myself a break because I was also working full time at the testing center. Drake and I managed to fight every single Saturday, at every single game. Not sure why, it just happened.
October
This time I went home with Drake to see his hometown and meet some of his friends, though I'd already met most of his family with the exception of one set of grandparents, who were the nicest people ever. Not much else happened, it was a good Halloween even though Drake dropped my camera on the floor in his drunken state.
November
I can not think of anything significant in this month - Drake was on duty for Thanksgiving so part of my break was actually spent in Cather, which wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be, dorm-wise. I just hate the dorms.
December
GRADUATION!!!!!!! By far, the most important thing that happened this month was me graduating, which was awesome. Adam, getting better and better at this calling thing, called at the perfect time, just as we were leaving Devaney after the ceremony. Again, thoughtful and not at all like him, though I think war generally makes you grow up fast, so I guess sin a way it is good for him. Then I went home for Christmas, Drake and I broke up for three days, then got back together, and now it is New Year's Eve and I am definitely ready for 2005 to be over. I've never been a fan of New Year's and anyone who has been around for the last three years can tell you why.
That's pretty much all for my year, some highs and lows, but all necessary in their own way. The best part about the end of the year is that it means my birthday is in a few weeks, so you can bet your ass I am going to start this year off right. However, turning 23 doesn't merit quite as big of a shin-dig, so says Mom, but who doesn't love going to the bars and getting free drinks? This girl loves it a lot, so I can't wait until then!
FRIENDS status: disc two of season 8 - Rachel has now told everyone she's pregnant, and that's pretty much the big deal right now
Days until my birthday: 16!!!!!!!
Happy New Year!
January
Not too shabby at all. I turned 22 and had two different events commemorating the special occasion. The first was hitting the bars with a bunch of friends, including Silas. If you recall, this was also the night Crazy Rachel freaked out and accused Silas and I of messing around. How I miss her crazy outbursts...I also had dinner with a bunch of friends the following evening, mostly those who were not yet 21. Teetz hauled ass back from his weather conference in California to make it and he got there just in time. The things that boy does for me, I am lucky I have such amazing friends - also, ones who don't resemble land masses or animals of any kind. Even though I didn't get to see him before he left for training, Adam also called to wish me a happy birthday - a tremendous feat for him, as Adam previously was unable to remember any date remotely important to me, ever.
February
A pretty low-key month, not a whole lot going on. All I really remember was being very nervous about having to sing in my music methods class, and my instructor said I could just hand in my lesson plan to her after class and then sing at that time as well. This led to her offering to give me voice lessons, and finding out I actually had a very nice voice after all. I really want to take singing lessons again, it was so much fun.
March
As always, I am pretty non-existent during this month, because it is March Madness! Duke didn't go as far as we'd thought, but it was a great season anyway. Spring Break was spent at home, and Britt and I vowed once again that the next Spring Break, we'd actually do something and go somewhere.
April
The best memory I have from April was that Jake had a party after one of the baseball games. Melissa didn't know he went to the game with Teetz and I, which made it that much better. Teetz and I were absolutely FRIED, but seeing Jesse Boyer and Alex Gordon in baseball pants was worth it - for me anyway, not so much for Teetz or Jake. At the party we played Spin The Bottle, and the first time Teetz spun and landed on me, I was in the middle of protesting how I couldn't kiss him and he just leaned over and planted one right on the lips. This was also the night I yelled at one of my former (now not so former again) friends and told him I never wanted to see him again. (Hey, I am working on the forgiveness thing, it is a slow process).
May
Well, this was supposed to be a great idea - I moved out of the dorms for the last time and into an apartment with two roommates everything was fine for the time, but we'll get to that later in the year. This is also the month I met Drake, though not til almost the very end. And 'met' is also a very loose term as well - he'd been sleeping on the futon for a good part of the month and I'd talked to him occasionally, but you know how I am with new people - and if you really want to be technical about it, he and I really truly met for the first in October of 2004, then again in March of 2005. Neither of us remember the other very clearly however, so I guess third time really was the charm. I also started working at Office Depot, which wasn't so bad to begin with.
June
Drake and I started dating in June, and Teetz and I were going to tons of baseball games. The Huskers went to the College World Series, but unfortunately did not win it all. That's okay though, because after we beat Creighton in the finals of the Super Regional, I got a picture with Jesse Boyer, a photo which was blown up to an 8X10 and is hanging in my room. Adam left for Iraq this month, which is one of the most difficult good-byes I have ever had to say, because I didn't know if it was for good, or just a little while. I hate thinking like that when I have been drinking - he called me while I was at the bars with Kayleen, Drake, Teetz, Britt, JohnRoss and random others. But it was thoughtful, and he's really seemed to have gotten this 'Call Sarah' thing down to an art, as we talked a few times, first while he was in training and then right before he left for the Middle East.
July
The greatest month of the whole year! Sort of. I MET GAVIN DEGRAW!!!!!! Teetz and I went to the concert and it was amazing. Afterward Gavin was singing autographs and I got a picture taken with him, which was also blown up to an 8X10 and is also hanging on one of my walls. I also got to meet Drake's parents for the first time when they came out to Lincoln, as well as more of his family aside from the aunts and uncles and cousins who already live in town.
August
I started my final semester as an undergrad at UNL. Student teaching was great from the start, though some of those teachers are the biggest gossips ever, it is ridiculous. Not much else that's newsworthy, just a lot of work and teaching.
September
Drake came home with me for Holden's third birthday and to meet my family. We crammed a lot into a very short amount of time, but he at least got to see my hometown and where I grew up and all that jazz. Also, lots of Husker football. I didn't get tickets because I figured I would be working every Saturday, but by this time I hated Office Depot so much, I had to take Saturdays off just to give myself a break because I was also working full time at the testing center. Drake and I managed to fight every single Saturday, at every single game. Not sure why, it just happened.
October
This time I went home with Drake to see his hometown and meet some of his friends, though I'd already met most of his family with the exception of one set of grandparents, who were the nicest people ever. Not much else happened, it was a good Halloween even though Drake dropped my camera on the floor in his drunken state.
November
I can not think of anything significant in this month - Drake was on duty for Thanksgiving so part of my break was actually spent in Cather, which wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it would be, dorm-wise. I just hate the dorms.
December
GRADUATION!!!!!!! By far, the most important thing that happened this month was me graduating, which was awesome. Adam, getting better and better at this calling thing, called at the perfect time, just as we were leaving Devaney after the ceremony. Again, thoughtful and not at all like him, though I think war generally makes you grow up fast, so I guess sin a way it is good for him. Then I went home for Christmas, Drake and I broke up for three days, then got back together, and now it is New Year's Eve and I am definitely ready for 2005 to be over. I've never been a fan of New Year's and anyone who has been around for the last three years can tell you why.
That's pretty much all for my year, some highs and lows, but all necessary in their own way. The best part about the end of the year is that it means my birthday is in a few weeks, so you can bet your ass I am going to start this year off right. However, turning 23 doesn't merit quite as big of a shin-dig, so says Mom, but who doesn't love going to the bars and getting free drinks? This girl loves it a lot, so I can't wait until then!
FRIENDS status: disc two of season 8 - Rachel has now told everyone she's pregnant, and that's pretty much the big deal right now
Days until my birthday: 16!!!!!!!
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Well...
I hate Christmas. For reasons I will certainly not divulge here to the public, Christmas is my least favorite holiday. I am still home in Minnesota and will be until New Year's Eve, when I go back to Lincoln, probably for good. The who knows, maybe I will just....I don't know.
Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin? I hate that feeling. I am tired and frustrated and would love to just make it all go away.
Do you ever feel uncomfortable in your own skin? I hate that feeling. I am tired and frustrated and would love to just make it all go away.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Just Waiting
I am just sitting in Drake's room, waiting for him to come back from class so we can go back to my apartment and start getting some stuff together, but I was brownsing random Facebook profiles and blogs and found this, actually in Lacey's blog. I thought it was fitting, especially right now:
The Coward's Meme:
1) List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Disable comments.
4) Never discuss it again.
1. I adore you. You are the best of the best and regardless of how we may snip at each other and disagree just to disagree (you know you do it too sometimes!) I love you to pieces and would do anything in the world for you. You take care of me and baby me and tell me the truth and that is the best thing a true friend can do.
2. I miss seeing you every day. I know I do stupid things and you always say, 'Oh Sarah' but it is a comfort. At that time I knew it was okay and you were still my friend anyway, but now sometimes I wonder. I know life gets in the way sometimes but I wonder if there is more to it and I wish we could talk about it.
3. You are the first person I have ever loved, but you will not be the last. Regardless of what everyone has said, I can not bring myself to hate even though I should. No one understands why we did what we did, and why it went on for so long, but that's okay because they don't have to. We know why and that's all that matters. Even though I shouldn't want you to be a part of my life at all, I am still glad that you are because you were a part of what made me the person I am today (yes, both the good and the bad). It was a learning experience on how I would allow myself to be treated next time around, so if nothing else, thank you for that.
4. Sometimes I miss you. True friendships ARE hard to come by, and I thought that is what we had, and we did for a very long time. I was sorry to see it go but I can't be around people I don't trust. I do understand your position, whether you think I do or not. However, you were wrong and that's that. We have a lot of good memories but the things you said and did can never be erased and it was unforgivable. Karma sucks, doesn't it?
5. I don't understand you at all and at this point I don't want to because I do not care. You can't claim you love someone, yet act the way you did. You wanted the best of both worlds and tried to keep it going for as long as you could take advantage of the situation. I wish it had not taken me so long to have the courage to cut you out of my life, but I am glad I did because I know how strong I am and I know I am better than that.
6. Your offensive scheme sucks. Your defensive scheme used to sort of work until your suckiness permeated everything about the team. You're a horrible coach. Go away from Nebraska and never come back, you have forever marred our cherished program and should be sent far, far away.
7. You are crazy and two-faced and no wonder we are not friends. I am glad I realized how crazy you were very early on. You got into the middle of something that had nothing to do with you and tried to stir up more trouble than was ever necessary. You are childish and completely immature and not a good writer so you had better find a new profession.
8. You're attractive. You ARE attractive. However, I no longer want to be attractive together, but thank you anyway.
9. Grow a pair and actually take sides for one in your life. I know it is not physically possible for you to actually 'grow a pair' but please, just stand up for your friends for once instead of trying to play the diplomat and keep everyone happy all the time. It won't work, because no one can be happy 100% of the time. I know there is still a lot going on in your life and I adore you still, but do what is right, please, please, please.
10. Grow up. You are not the smartest person in the world, you are no better than anyone else, you're not the king of the universe. Everyone is entitled to just as much as you, so quit acting like the world owes you a favor because it doesn't. No one does.
Okay, so I had a tough time with this. A lot of the things I said were not nice, but that's because my friends do know how much they mean to me and I tell them often. This is stuff I feel better about getting out of my system. Some will read it and know what is sad for who, and some this was meant for will never see it at all. Some are definitely obvious, some are only half-serious, others are dead-serious. Any way around it, don't be offended because chances are the ones who do read this will figure some of them out pretty darn quick.
The Coward's Meme:
1) List ten things you want to say to people but know you never will.
2) Don't say who they are.
3) Disable comments.
4) Never discuss it again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. I adore you. You are the best of the best and regardless of how we may snip at each other and disagree just to disagree (you know you do it too sometimes!) I love you to pieces and would do anything in the world for you. You take care of me and baby me and tell me the truth and that is the best thing a true friend can do.
2. I miss seeing you every day. I know I do stupid things and you always say, 'Oh Sarah' but it is a comfort. At that time I knew it was okay and you were still my friend anyway, but now sometimes I wonder. I know life gets in the way sometimes but I wonder if there is more to it and I wish we could talk about it.
3. You are the first person I have ever loved, but you will not be the last. Regardless of what everyone has said, I can not bring myself to hate even though I should. No one understands why we did what we did, and why it went on for so long, but that's okay because they don't have to. We know why and that's all that matters. Even though I shouldn't want you to be a part of my life at all, I am still glad that you are because you were a part of what made me the person I am today (yes, both the good and the bad). It was a learning experience on how I would allow myself to be treated next time around, so if nothing else, thank you for that.
4. Sometimes I miss you. True friendships ARE hard to come by, and I thought that is what we had, and we did for a very long time. I was sorry to see it go but I can't be around people I don't trust. I do understand your position, whether you think I do or not. However, you were wrong and that's that. We have a lot of good memories but the things you said and did can never be erased and it was unforgivable. Karma sucks, doesn't it?
5. I don't understand you at all and at this point I don't want to because I do not care. You can't claim you love someone, yet act the way you did. You wanted the best of both worlds and tried to keep it going for as long as you could take advantage of the situation. I wish it had not taken me so long to have the courage to cut you out of my life, but I am glad I did because I know how strong I am and I know I am better than that.
6. Your offensive scheme sucks. Your defensive scheme used to sort of work until your suckiness permeated everything about the team. You're a horrible coach. Go away from Nebraska and never come back, you have forever marred our cherished program and should be sent far, far away.
7. You are crazy and two-faced and no wonder we are not friends. I am glad I realized how crazy you were very early on. You got into the middle of something that had nothing to do with you and tried to stir up more trouble than was ever necessary. You are childish and completely immature and not a good writer so you had better find a new profession.
8. You're attractive. You ARE attractive. However, I no longer want to be attractive together, but thank you anyway.
9. Grow a pair and actually take sides for one in your life. I know it is not physically possible for you to actually 'grow a pair' but please, just stand up for your friends for once instead of trying to play the diplomat and keep everyone happy all the time. It won't work, because no one can be happy 100% of the time. I know there is still a lot going on in your life and I adore you still, but do what is right, please, please, please.
10. Grow up. You are not the smartest person in the world, you are no better than anyone else, you're not the king of the universe. Everyone is entitled to just as much as you, so quit acting like the world owes you a favor because it doesn't. No one does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay, so I had a tough time with this. A lot of the things I said were not nice, but that's because my friends do know how much they mean to me and I tell them often. This is stuff I feel better about getting out of my system. Some will read it and know what is sad for who, and some this was meant for will never see it at all. Some are definitely obvious, some are only half-serious, others are dead-serious. Any way around it, don't be offended because chances are the ones who do read this will figure some of them out pretty darn quick.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I Know Everything Happens For A Reason, But...
Wake Me Up When September Ends
Green Day
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up,
When September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up
When September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up
When September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
When September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up
When September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rest
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up
When September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
When September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up
When September ends
Wake me up
When September ends
Wake me up
When September ends....
I really wish this song had come out around the same time, but LAST year.
Green Day
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up,
When September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up
When September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up
When September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
When September ends
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up
When September ends
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
As my memory rest
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up
When September ends
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up
When September ends
Like my father's come to pass
Twenty years has gone so fast
Wake me up
When September ends
Wake me up
When September ends
Wake me up
When September ends....
I really wish this song had come out around the same time, but LAST year.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Klepto
I stole this from Amanda, who stole this from Ben. Amanda concluded that Ben did not mind her stealing it from him, so I am drawing the same conclusion that she won't mind that I stole it from her.
10 Years ago: I was 12 years old and in 7th grade. All the 7th grade classrooms were located in the "Old Building" which was originally built in the early 1900s and at one time housed grades K-12. Being a history nerd even then, I thought it was pretty neat and wanted desperately for the building to be haunted. I don't think it was.
5 Years ago: I was a senior in high school. I pretty much did nothing in class because I had exhausted all the honors classes in English and history and was forced to *eeek* take "regular-kid classes" because we were not allowed to have more than three Study Halls a day. While this was one of the best times in my life, it was also one of the worst. Three students from my school died in this year, including one of my closest friends, two and a half months before graduation.
1 Year ago: Almost exactly a year ago to this day, Adam and I were on the verge of our third and final break-up. At the time I was convinced I was going to be single forever and swore off all men as complete and total lying cheating bastards. I think we can all agree that my opinion has changed; I am extremely happy with Drake, and at peace both with Adam and that time period in my life.
Yesterday: I worked at Office Depot from 10-6. Time went by really fast because we were really busy. I had an hour and a half chunk of time where I constantly had customers which I love because the time goes by so quickly. Afterwards I ran home and showered and did some stuff around the apartment, then hung out at Cather with Drake and we watched "Dawn of the Dead" and "Saved".
(On a sidenote for those of you who have seen Saved: I was watching it with my roommate Brett one time and I made some comment about how one of the characters, Patrick, is really cute. He looked at me and was like, "Wow, you do realize he's Drake, only famous, right?" Upon further inspection we realized Brett was right, as the character of Patrick possesses many qualities that my boyfriend does as well: He has the shaggy hair, the skateboard, and they even kind of look alike in the jaw area especially).
5 Snacks I enjoy:
I don't really enjoy food, and I don't really eat. Noodles and butter is okay, and I guess green beans are a snack.
5 Songs I know all the words to:
1. Any Gavin DeGraw song off "Chariot" (I know he only has one CD right now, but he has other unreleased tracks he sang at the concert)
2. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
3. Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
4. Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana
5. Fight For Your Right - Beastie Boys
5 Things I'd do with a million dollars:
1. Take my mom on any vacation she wanted and buy her dream home for her
2. Get the Louis Vuitton set that I want
3. Get my Escalade NOW (instead of Grandpa making me wait until I have my doctorate)
4. Purchase books for all the elementary school children who really need them (i.e. kids from West Lincoln, Belmont, Randolph - NOT Kahoa)
5. Open up a clothing boutique with Brittany where we can sell clothes for people who have long legs and torsos, just like us.
5 Things I'd never wear:
1. Ugg Boots
2. a thong bikini
3. Anything from Wet Seal
That's about it
5 favorite TV shows:
I am going with fave shows of all-time, because I don't watch much TV now. However, I do have 6 instead of 5, so deal with it :)
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2.Saved By The Bell
3. Law and Order: SVU
4. Laguna Beach
5. Real World
6. FRIENDS
5 greatest joys:
1. Being with my friends and family
2. Hearing a baby's laughter
3. Being in love
4. Duke basketball
5. Football season (college and pro)
10 Years ago: I was 12 years old and in 7th grade. All the 7th grade classrooms were located in the "Old Building" which was originally built in the early 1900s and at one time housed grades K-12. Being a history nerd even then, I thought it was pretty neat and wanted desperately for the building to be haunted. I don't think it was.
5 Years ago: I was a senior in high school. I pretty much did nothing in class because I had exhausted all the honors classes in English and history and was forced to *eeek* take "regular-kid classes" because we were not allowed to have more than three Study Halls a day. While this was one of the best times in my life, it was also one of the worst. Three students from my school died in this year, including one of my closest friends, two and a half months before graduation.
1 Year ago: Almost exactly a year ago to this day, Adam and I were on the verge of our third and final break-up. At the time I was convinced I was going to be single forever and swore off all men as complete and total lying cheating bastards. I think we can all agree that my opinion has changed; I am extremely happy with Drake, and at peace both with Adam and that time period in my life.
Yesterday: I worked at Office Depot from 10-6. Time went by really fast because we were really busy. I had an hour and a half chunk of time where I constantly had customers which I love because the time goes by so quickly. Afterwards I ran home and showered and did some stuff around the apartment, then hung out at Cather with Drake and we watched "Dawn of the Dead" and "Saved".
(On a sidenote for those of you who have seen Saved: I was watching it with my roommate Brett one time and I made some comment about how one of the characters, Patrick, is really cute. He looked at me and was like, "Wow, you do realize he's Drake, only famous, right?" Upon further inspection we realized Brett was right, as the character of Patrick possesses many qualities that my boyfriend does as well: He has the shaggy hair, the skateboard, and they even kind of look alike in the jaw area especially).
5 Snacks I enjoy:
I don't really enjoy food, and I don't really eat. Noodles and butter is okay, and I guess green beans are a snack.
5 Songs I know all the words to:
1. Any Gavin DeGraw song off "Chariot" (I know he only has one CD right now, but he has other unreleased tracks he sang at the concert)
2. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor
3. Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
4. Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana
5. Fight For Your Right - Beastie Boys
5 Things I'd do with a million dollars:
1. Take my mom on any vacation she wanted and buy her dream home for her
2. Get the Louis Vuitton set that I want
3. Get my Escalade NOW (instead of Grandpa making me wait until I have my doctorate)
4. Purchase books for all the elementary school children who really need them (i.e. kids from West Lincoln, Belmont, Randolph - NOT Kahoa)
5. Open up a clothing boutique with Brittany where we can sell clothes for people who have long legs and torsos, just like us.
5 Things I'd never wear:
1. Ugg Boots
2. a thong bikini
3. Anything from Wet Seal
That's about it
5 favorite TV shows:
I am going with fave shows of all-time, because I don't watch much TV now. However, I do have 6 instead of 5, so deal with it :)
1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer
2.Saved By The Bell
3. Law and Order: SVU
4. Laguna Beach
5. Real World
6. FRIENDS
5 greatest joys:
1. Being with my friends and family
2. Hearing a baby's laughter
3. Being in love
4. Duke basketball
5. Football season (college and pro)
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
I Steal Stuff...Again
So first I stole a list from Brett's blog, then I stole this new one from JohnRoss. I like to steal stuff I guess.
1. What is your current occupation?
Proctor in Burnett Testing Center, and a cashier at Office Depot
2. What color is your underwear?
Purple
3. What are you listening to right now?
Computer keys clacking - I'm in Burnett right now
4. What was the last thing you ate?
Some chips
5. Do you wish on stars?
Always
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Violet or lavender or some amazing shade of purple
7. How is the weather right now?
Sunny and about 80. I love it.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My grandpa
9. What do you do in your spare time?
Sleep
10. Favorite drink non alcoholic?
Diet Coke
11. Favorite sport to watch?
DUKE BASKETBALL
12. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
Glasses. I don't stick foreign objects in my eyes.
13. Pets?
A pup named Teddy B. who I have had for almost fourteen years now, so I guess he's not a pup anymore. I also have a red-eared slider turtle named Wendall Merle. Shona named him Wendall and I added the Merle after Teetz's dad.
14. Favorite month?
any month that it is 75 and sunny, because that is perfect weather
15. Who is your favorite singer?
I have many I love to listen to but as an all-time favorite I would have to say Garth Brooks or Kenny Chesney. However, Gavin DeGraw will never be far behind.
16. What was the last movie you watched?
The Longest Yard
17. Favorite day of the year?
My birthday. Duh.
18. What do you do to vent anger?
I yell at whoever I am angry with. Unfortunately sometimes it gets taken out on whoever is nearby at the time and not who actually deserves it.
19. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Probably my Brett Bear. My grandma used to work at a department store called Brett's and for Christmas they put out Brett Bears. I have always loved teddy bears and this one is by far my favorite.
20. Hugs or Kisses?
Kisses
21. Cherry or blueberry?
Cherry
22. Living Arrangements?
A ghetto apartment with two messy boys.
23. When was the last time you cried?
A couple weeks ago when Drake and I got into a big argument.
24. What is on the floor of your closet?Shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.
25. What did you do last night?
Drove back from Minnesota with Drake, then unpacked and ran some errands.
26. What inspires you?
Love, music, real life stories
27. Favorite smell?
Newly cut grass and fresh baked bread
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy burgers?
CHEEEEEEESE!
29. Favorite car?
Wow. A question PERFECT for me: a 2004 white diamond Cadillac Escalade with a pewter interior, silver spinners, and tinted windows. It will be mine once my doctorate is in hand.
30. Favorite dog-breed?
My pup is a peek-i-poo which means he is part Pekinese, part Poodle. I am also fond of labs.
31. Number of keys on your key ring?
Five. I only know what four of them are for though.
32. How many years at your current job?
I am in my third year in Burnett, and my fourth month at Office Depot
33. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday - no student teaching and no working. Just lots of sleep and lots of football.
34. How many states have you lived in?
Three: South Dakota, Minnesota, and Nebraska
35. How many cities have you lived in?
Four: Brookings, South Dakota; Apple Valley, Minnesota/Rosemount Minnesota (I lived right on the border of these two for a while on the Apple Valley side, then after Kindergarten we moved about four blocks in from the border where I lived until college) Lincoln, Nebraska. There are some other towns I think, from when I was really little that I would have no recollection of. I don't count them because I was not there long enough for it to matter. I am also not sure if I should count Waseca, Minnesota, where my mother moved to about a year ago, because I have never lived there except when I am home on school breaks.
1. What is your current occupation?
Proctor in Burnett Testing Center, and a cashier at Office Depot
2. What color is your underwear?
Purple
3. What are you listening to right now?
Computer keys clacking - I'm in Burnett right now
4. What was the last thing you ate?
Some chips
5. Do you wish on stars?
Always
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Violet or lavender or some amazing shade of purple
7. How is the weather right now?
Sunny and about 80. I love it.
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone?
My grandpa
9. What do you do in your spare time?
Sleep
10. Favorite drink non alcoholic?
Diet Coke
11. Favorite sport to watch?
DUKE BASKETBALL
12. Do you wear contacts or glasses?
Glasses. I don't stick foreign objects in my eyes.
13. Pets?
A pup named Teddy B. who I have had for almost fourteen years now, so I guess he's not a pup anymore. I also have a red-eared slider turtle named Wendall Merle. Shona named him Wendall and I added the Merle after Teetz's dad.
14. Favorite month?
any month that it is 75 and sunny, because that is perfect weather
15. Who is your favorite singer?
I have many I love to listen to but as an all-time favorite I would have to say Garth Brooks or Kenny Chesney. However, Gavin DeGraw will never be far behind.
16. What was the last movie you watched?
The Longest Yard
17. Favorite day of the year?
My birthday. Duh.
18. What do you do to vent anger?
I yell at whoever I am angry with. Unfortunately sometimes it gets taken out on whoever is nearby at the time and not who actually deserves it.
19. What was your favorite toy as a child?
Probably my Brett Bear. My grandma used to work at a department store called Brett's and for Christmas they put out Brett Bears. I have always loved teddy bears and this one is by far my favorite.
20. Hugs or Kisses?
Kisses
21. Cherry or blueberry?
Cherry
22. Living Arrangements?
A ghetto apartment with two messy boys.
23. When was the last time you cried?
A couple weeks ago when Drake and I got into a big argument.
24. What is on the floor of your closet?Shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.
25. What did you do last night?
Drove back from Minnesota with Drake, then unpacked and ran some errands.
26. What inspires you?
Love, music, real life stories
27. Favorite smell?
Newly cut grass and fresh baked bread
28. Plain, cheese, or spicy burgers?
CHEEEEEEESE!
29. Favorite car?
Wow. A question PERFECT for me: a 2004 white diamond Cadillac Escalade with a pewter interior, silver spinners, and tinted windows. It will be mine once my doctorate is in hand.
30. Favorite dog-breed?
My pup is a peek-i-poo which means he is part Pekinese, part Poodle. I am also fond of labs.
31. Number of keys on your key ring?
Five. I only know what four of them are for though.
32. How many years at your current job?
I am in my third year in Burnett, and my fourth month at Office Depot
33. Favorite day of the week?
Saturday - no student teaching and no working. Just lots of sleep and lots of football.
34. How many states have you lived in?
Three: South Dakota, Minnesota, and Nebraska
35. How many cities have you lived in?
Four: Brookings, South Dakota; Apple Valley, Minnesota/Rosemount Minnesota (I lived right on the border of these two for a while on the Apple Valley side, then after Kindergarten we moved about four blocks in from the border where I lived until college) Lincoln, Nebraska. There are some other towns I think, from when I was really little that I would have no recollection of. I don't count them because I was not there long enough for it to matter. I am also not sure if I should count Waseca, Minnesota, where my mother moved to about a year ago, because I have never lived there except when I am home on school breaks.
Monday, September 12, 2005
Reflections
I've found out a lot about friends and family this weekend. Some it is necessary for me to know, but other things I wish I didn't know because I truly believe in some instances, ignorance is bliss. The family stuff isn't really up for public discussion so I think I will leave that for face-to-face chats with those whom I care to discuss it with, and as for the friends side - it's not that I "found anything out" but more like I am beginning to see where loyalties really lie. I don't mean loyalties in terms of choosing sides, because this isn't a situation where there are even sides to choose. Maybe we are just drifting apart and that scares me more than anything because among my closest friends in the world, the ones with whom I end all conversations, "I love you", I mean those words exactly. They are the friend for whom I would do anything - lie, beg, borrow, cheat, even die for - because I love them more than anything, and if my doing any of those things would help them in any way shape or form, there's no question I would respond in a heartbeat. I feel that lately however, some of us really are drifting apart. There have been no explicit actions proving this that any outsider will notice, yet to any on "the inside" it is slowly but surely happening. It could be that we are all nearing the end of our college careers and will likely not be living near each other next year, but I think that is all the more reason for us to stay close now when we have the opportunity and not take one another for granted. I know life happens and we all get busy with that, but there's a reason we are friends in the first place and I think it would be a shame for that all to end because we can't seem to make ourselves find the time to hang out even once a week.
And somewhat related to the future, I have really been giving Alaska a lot of thought. I know half of you are thinking, "What the fuck, where did Alaska come from" but it's always been there in the back of my mind. It would be difficult for me to be so far away from my friends and family and in a place that is dark half the year and with no sports teams to speak of (although Duke will usually play in a basketball tournament hosted by the University of Alaska each season, so yay for that). Like Texas, Alaska has a lot to offer new teachers in order to get and keep them there. We all know, however, I will never set foot in the state of Texas (except of course to visit Buttons for Spring Break) so that option is out. Both states have trouble retaining teachers or even getting them there in the first place, so many school districts offer things like, paying for you to move up there, helping pay off college loans, helping pay for grad school, paying rent/house payments the first couple years, and even making car payments as well. In addition to the material value of this option, I think the experience in itself would be so amazing. I have been to most areas of the US with the exception of southern states, aside from Virginia. I have never been to Canada which isn't a loss because Canada sucks, but I think to go somewhere completely new and start completely fresh would be such a challenge and we all know I, on occasion, love a good challenge almost as much as I love watching a good thrashing of the Green Bay Packers by the Minnesota Vikings. Again, could I go without sports for that long? Yes, cable television is nice but nothing compares to being in the stands, watching a football or basketball game live. I don't know, it is something to think about, but something I am considering more and more as graduation nears.
And somewhat related to the future, I have really been giving Alaska a lot of thought. I know half of you are thinking, "What the fuck, where did Alaska come from" but it's always been there in the back of my mind. It would be difficult for me to be so far away from my friends and family and in a place that is dark half the year and with no sports teams to speak of (although Duke will usually play in a basketball tournament hosted by the University of Alaska each season, so yay for that). Like Texas, Alaska has a lot to offer new teachers in order to get and keep them there. We all know, however, I will never set foot in the state of Texas (except of course to visit Buttons for Spring Break) so that option is out. Both states have trouble retaining teachers or even getting them there in the first place, so many school districts offer things like, paying for you to move up there, helping pay off college loans, helping pay for grad school, paying rent/house payments the first couple years, and even making car payments as well. In addition to the material value of this option, I think the experience in itself would be so amazing. I have been to most areas of the US with the exception of southern states, aside from Virginia. I have never been to Canada which isn't a loss because Canada sucks, but I think to go somewhere completely new and start completely fresh would be such a challenge and we all know I, on occasion, love a good challenge almost as much as I love watching a good thrashing of the Green Bay Packers by the Minnesota Vikings. Again, could I go without sports for that long? Yes, cable television is nice but nothing compares to being in the stands, watching a football or basketball game live. I don't know, it is something to think about, but something I am considering more and more as graduation nears.
Monday, August 15, 2005
The One
I was watching Ever After the other night - one of my favorite movies - and I always thought the lines exchanged between Prince Henry and Leonardo da Vinci were interesting:
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do finally find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?
I know time and again a lot has been written and said about the subject of The One. because how do you ever really know? Or what if you're so scared you'll never find The One that you settle for the first person who comes along and end up miserable for the rest of your life? I wonder how many people that has happened to. I don't think anyone has got it all figured out yet, and I certainly do not, nor do I think anyone ever will. Personally, I believe The One exists for every single person on this planet, and I think that the passage of time in the relationship doesn't matter, you can be together a month or a year and you know if the person you are with is The One or not. I don't know why you would stay with someone for a year if they were not The One, but whatever. Some people just aren't ready for grown-up relationships and that's fine too. That was not intended to be a jab at Adam in anyway, but honestly after everything we went through, he just wasn't ready for the intensity that came with our relationship. I think with him I really, really wanted him to be The One, but deep down I knew it just wasn't happening and he really wasn't meant for me. That doesn't mean we will ever stop loving each other, but the love is changing now that we have both found the relationships we were meant to be in. Well, I have at least, I know he can do better than Ashley, he can do waaaaaay better. I will even help him find someone better than her, gross. This rant doesn't have entirely to do with my current relationship situation either, it is just something some people and I were talking about at work the other day in addition to me watching the movie. I do, however, know that I am butt-crazy in love with Drake and can definitely admit it any time, any where. At this point however, that is all I am willing to admit on my blog, because after all, Blogs Are Lame. I was just wondering what other people thought of this subject because I know there are definitely many varying viewpoints.
Henry: Do you really think there is only one perfect mate?
Leonardo da Vinci: As a matter of fact, I do.
Henry: Well then how can you be certain to find them? And if you do finally find them, are they really the one for you or do you only think they are? And what happens if the person you're supposed to be with never appears, or she does, but you're too distracted to notice?
Leonardo da Vinci: You learn to pay attention.
Henry: Then let's say God puts two people on Earth and they are lucky enough to find one another. But one of them gets hit by lightning. Well then what? Is that it? Or, perchance, you meet someone new and marry all over again. Is that the lady you're supposed to be with or was it the first? And if so, when the two of them were walking side by side were they both the one for you and you just happened to meet the first one first or was the second one supposed to be first? And is everything just chance or are some things meant to be?
I know time and again a lot has been written and said about the subject of The One. because how do you ever really know? Or what if you're so scared you'll never find The One that you settle for the first person who comes along and end up miserable for the rest of your life? I wonder how many people that has happened to. I don't think anyone has got it all figured out yet, and I certainly do not, nor do I think anyone ever will. Personally, I believe The One exists for every single person on this planet, and I think that the passage of time in the relationship doesn't matter, you can be together a month or a year and you know if the person you are with is The One or not. I don't know why you would stay with someone for a year if they were not The One, but whatever. Some people just aren't ready for grown-up relationships and that's fine too. That was not intended to be a jab at Adam in anyway, but honestly after everything we went through, he just wasn't ready for the intensity that came with our relationship. I think with him I really, really wanted him to be The One, but deep down I knew it just wasn't happening and he really wasn't meant for me. That doesn't mean we will ever stop loving each other, but the love is changing now that we have both found the relationships we were meant to be in. Well, I have at least, I know he can do better than Ashley, he can do waaaaaay better. I will even help him find someone better than her, gross. This rant doesn't have entirely to do with my current relationship situation either, it is just something some people and I were talking about at work the other day in addition to me watching the movie. I do, however, know that I am butt-crazy in love with Drake and can definitely admit it any time, any where. At this point however, that is all I am willing to admit on my blog, because after all, Blogs Are Lame. I was just wondering what other people thought of this subject because I know there are definitely many varying viewpoints.
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Meet the Parents
No, this is not about the movie, but my actual meeting of Drake's parents, which happened this evening. I was kind of nervous, because I know how insanely important family is to all of them and so I was all worried about how it would go and basically yesterday Drake was like, "If you just talk to them and take the time to do that, they're going to like you and they're not going to feel like you're the girl who is taking me away from them." Well, I went to Matt and Shelly's tonight and Drake had gone out for a drive with his dad, so Shelly and I were setting things up for dinner and his mom came up from the basement. Shelly and I had been talking a little about how it was nerve-wracking to meet parents for the first time but we were giggling like little girls and all the sudden here's Drake's mom and she smiled and asked what we were giggling about. She hugged me right away and we talked and all worked on getting dinner ready and everything. I pretty much worried for nothing, as I usually do. Drake and his dad were gone well over an hour so I had some time to really joke around with and get to know his mom. I almost think it was better that he wasn't there to introduce us because she got to see me without him and see how I am, because I am sure I am kind of different, everyone is a little different when their significant other is present. Maybe a little quieter, I don't know. But she got to talk with me and it was all fun. His dad seems pretty cool too, but we didn't get to talk as much as I would like to, mostly because like I said, he was gone for the first hour or so that I was at the house. But we had dinner and hung out and I feel much more at ease now. They're going to be here until Sunday, so I am sure I will have more opportunities to get to talk with his dad. Then I had to leave a little early, because it was Lizzie's 21st birthday and I told her three weeks ago I would be there so as I am leaving his mom gets up and hugs me again and as I am saying good byes and everything she kept her arm around me so that also makes me feel better because I do want his parents to genuinely like me and like me just because he loves me. I know I only met them for a few hours tonight, but tomorrow we will be around each other a while longer and it will only get better. I think Shelly also already kind of put in a good word for me when they were back home over the 4th of July weekend - Drake doesn't know exactly what was said but he said that Shelly talked a bit about me, so it's good to have additional family members on my side beforehand.
On a side note, I spent almost two hours at the library today, working on a new novel. Well, it's a novel sort of, but it's also kind of a personal essay. I know it sounds lame right now but it will make sense later. And if ever were to have it published, it would probably end up in non-fiction anyway because of a lot of it is about stuff I have been dealing with for the last year and a half and while I am certainly no expert, I do know myself and how I feel and it is therapeutic to get my words on paper. I don't fit into this stereotypical cookie cutter mode like these books describe and I feel that since no one else has yet to really write about an experience like mine, I might as well be the first because I know I am not alone. When I am more comfortable with it I might post some of it, but I know it'll upset some people and probably depress others because it's just a really crappy subject and I wish no one ever had to deal with it because it's a time waster and all it does is make me tired. Sorry to be cryptic but if you don't know what I am talking about at this point, it's only because your name isn't Brittany or Teetz. Even they might be a little confused, but it'll all make sense eventually, I promise.
On a side note, I spent almost two hours at the library today, working on a new novel. Well, it's a novel sort of, but it's also kind of a personal essay. I know it sounds lame right now but it will make sense later. And if ever were to have it published, it would probably end up in non-fiction anyway because of a lot of it is about stuff I have been dealing with for the last year and a half and while I am certainly no expert, I do know myself and how I feel and it is therapeutic to get my words on paper. I don't fit into this stereotypical cookie cutter mode like these books describe and I feel that since no one else has yet to really write about an experience like mine, I might as well be the first because I know I am not alone. When I am more comfortable with it I might post some of it, but I know it'll upset some people and probably depress others because it's just a really crappy subject and I wish no one ever had to deal with it because it's a time waster and all it does is make me tired. Sorry to be cryptic but if you don't know what I am talking about at this point, it's only because your name isn't Brittany or Teetz. Even they might be a little confused, but it'll all make sense eventually, I promise.
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